Rachel Moore
Imagine if the Women’s World Cup final had gone the other way and the Prince of Wales, president of England’s Football Association, grasped winning goal scorer Lauren Hemp’s head with both hands, held her forcibly nose to nose and planted a kiss on her lips in ‘celebration’.
In front of the world. Unthinkable, right?
So, anyone who dismisses Kissgate, the blatant transgression of personal boundaries and appropriate behaviour by the Spanish FA president Luis Rubiales on world champion sportswoman Jennifer Hermoso, as Latino over-exuberation needs to take a long hard look at themselves.
Rubiales’ second of arrogance/misjudgement/rank disregard for Hermoso and the ensuing bruhaha has overshadowed Hermoso and the team’s unique moment, making it all about him.
No pitch invasion to sour the victory, a far worse personal invasion of Hermoso by Rubialles.
Seeking a positive in this uncomfortable mess, that kiss has delivered a long-overdue opportunity to reset the whole ghastly social and celebratory kissing, hugging, grabbing and personal contact mess.
Unwanted kisses in any setting, whatever the intention, are a no-no. Only few people seem to have had that memo.
Men still believe it appropriate to kiss female peers in professional settings when a handshake will do. They shake men’s hands in a group but go in for cheek kiss for a woman without hesitation. At a networking event? In an office before a meeting?
In whose world is this remotely appropriate?
These people are associated by work, sometimes the woman is senior, sometimes the male, but the male believes a kiss, sometimes two, is an acceptable greeting.
And when man and women are involved in a negotiation and the man starts with a kiss, does he believe leaning in for a peck might disarm the woman and nudge her into accepting assertion of his male power?
A man who assumes the right to kiss a woman without consent, especially if she has offered her hand to shake, clearly has no respect for her opinion or boundaries.
Whatever he might think, she will not be flattered or grateful.
On the few occasions when I’ve been razor sharp enough to pull away, the implication has been that there’s something wrong with me, that I’m stand-offish and cold, for not wanting to kiss man I don’t know, or have met once or twice.
No. I prefer to shake your hand, like you just did with Fred. I have no desire to be that close to you. And don’t even think of trying a hug.
Friends and colleagues tell horror stories of how they’ve ended up brushing lips at work events when a man has gone in for a double, and they were so flustered their lips touched or noses collided.
Just don’t do it.
Leave kissing for romantic relationships where there is consent.
Indignant Rubiales described his action “natural” and in no way “in bad faith.”
But that iron grasp of Hermoso’s head and kiss told her: “I’m the boss here and I’m pleased with what you have done for me today. Because it’s all about him.
His mother Angeles Bejar was so incensed at the “inhumane” treatment of her son she went on hunger strike, locked in a church.
Her over-reaction explains a lot about the behaviour of her little prince.
Let’s use this incident to end the obsession for the touchy feely to respect individuals’ personal space and tastes and accept that kissing another isn’t a right, or an expectation.
Just don’t do it. And it’s everyone’s right to resist and object if you persist.
Isn’t it obvious. Who wants to look creepy?
Could farmers help schools?
As the new school year is about to start, it’s alarming that teachers are preparing for another year of taking in food for hungry children.
Thinking of children going to school hungry is heart-breaking.
One in four teachers took in food for hungry pupils out of concern for their welfare, a survey by FareShare has revealed.
Headteachers say it is “unsustainable” to expect schools to keep stepping in to support desperate families.
More than a third of the 9,000 teachers who took part in the poll said their school regularly provided food for children and their families, rising to almost half in the most deprived areas of England.
In a food producing area like East Anglia, can’t the farmers help?
Food waste charity FareShare which offers surplus food from local supermarkets to charities and community groups, including breakfast, after-school and holiday clubs for children and young people, says that 3m tonnes of food goes to waste on UK farms every year.
Farms working with local schools.
Schools go above and beyond for their children because they care and are part of a community and see first-hand the problems.
There must be ways for farmers to be a key part of the solution to for schools in their communities. If they’re feeding the country, why not look closer to home?
No fizz could be a good thing...
Climate change is threatening the future of Prosecco.
Scientists have warned that our favourite fizz might become extinct as soil degradation and drought –which devastated swathes of Europe last year - risk centuries-old tradition of ‘heroic’ grape-growing areas, including the Prosecco Hills of Conegliano and Valdobbiadene.
It might signal the end of ‘Prosecco teeth’, a condition where the tooth starts to come away from the gum suffered by regular tipplers because of its sugar, acidity and carbonation.
Every cloud….
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules here