A Woodbridge woman has paid tribute to her “incredible” husband after his death at the age of 37.
Claire Dorman said that, when she and James first heard the word ‘hospice’, they would wince.
However, she is now grateful that, thanks to the kindness and support they received from St Elizabeth Hospice in Ipswich, they were able to cherish the final days they had together before he died.
“James was another level of person,” said Claire. “We had met in 2010 in our early twenties and had been pretty much inseparable since our first date.
“He was the kindest person I ever met, never had a bad word to say about anyone and he was the most incredible husband and Daddy.
“Our two children adored him, we all did. We were so, so lucky to have him.”
James was first diagnosed with bowel cancer in March 2020. After going through chemotherapy, radiotherapy and a major operation “like a hero”, he was told that he was free of cancer at the beginning of 2021.
“Following this, we bought our house in April 2021, and all moved in feeling unbelievably lucky to have overcome what we'd been through,” said Claire.
“Sadly, at the beginning of 2022 we were told the cancer was back and it had also spread to his lymph nodes, lungs and liver.
“At this point we were told James' care was palliative and they could no longer look to cure him, just extend his life as much as possible.
“To say we were devastated wouldn't even begin to explain it.
“Over the course of 2022, James faced many setbacks and side effects and in October, we were told the treatment simply wasn't working and James had weeks, rather than months, to live.”
It was then that they sought the support of St Elizabeth Hospice, which delivers free care to over 3,000 patients and their families throughout East Suffolk, Great Yarmouth and Waveney every year.
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“Up until that point, the word 'hospice' had been mentioned but we both winced at the word and couldn't face speaking about it any further,” said Claire.
“I want people who may find themselves in the same, difficult situation that we did, to know not to be scared of the word ‘hospice’.
“The St Elizabeth Hospice nurses came to visit us at home, referred us to wonderful physiotherapists to try and make James more comfortable at home and went out of their way to help us prepare for what was to come.
“In November 2022, James was incredibly unwell at home and ended up being taken to Ipswich Hospital in an ambulance. He spent one night at the hospital and the next morning I phoned the hospice on their 24/7 OneCall phone number.
“The hospice arranged for James to be moved to the hospice straight away. We were moved into a family room, with a sofa, TV and beautiful windows looking out onto the garden and pond. The second we arrived at the hospice we were treated with kindness and dignity.
“Our children were able to come and visit their Daddy for their last cuddles and kisses and the staff even took them to feed the fishes in the pond.
“I was able to stay with James every second of the six days he was being cared for on the hospice’s inpatient unit and I was incredibly well looked after and supported by the staff during that time; they are all very special people indeed.”
James died on November 18, 2022.
To celebrate his life, and to help raise funds for the hospice, Claire will be taking on the hospice’s Midnight Walk, which takes place this Sunday.
To sign up or to find out more, visit: www.stelizabethhospice.org.uk/midnight-walk/
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